My friend reminded me of something the other night while I was caught up thinking about where I’m going and how far I still feel from where I want to be.
We were sitting on my roof watching the sunset. He’s one of my closest friends, but I hadn’t seen him in a while, so we were catching up on everything that had happened since we last spent time together. At some point he looked at me and said, “Can we just stop and think about something real quick. It’s crazy that a year ago, you were dreaming about doing exactly what you’re doing right now.” Although this is only partially true, at least in my eyes, it hit me harder than I expected it to.
I always think I do a good job at staying present, but it made me realize that I still don't reflect enough. Because if you’re anything like me, you probably spend very little time thinking about what you once wanted and an incredible amount of time thinking about what you want next.
I’m constantly doing this. There’s always another idea I want to bring to life, another version of what I want to build, another person I want to become. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Ambition requires some level of dissatisfaction with where you currently are. You have to believe there’s something more out there in order to go find it. But I think there’s a weird contradiction hidden inside of that.
The same mindset that moves you forward can make it almost impossible to appreciate where you are. Think about it. You spend years wanting something. Then you get it. For a brief moment, it feels incredible. And then, almost immediately, your brain adjusts. What was once the goal becomes normal life, and your attention moves toward whatever is missing next. I think that’s why progress can feel so strange from the inside.
From where I’m standing today, I can very easily convince myself that I’m nowhere near where I want to be. And in a lot of ways, that’s true. There are so many things I still want to build, experience, learn, and become. But if you asked the version of me from a year ago where he wanted to be right now, I’m living a lot of his answer. That realization made me question the way I’ve been measuring progress.
If you only measure your life by looking forward, you’re measuring yourself against something that doesn’t exist yet. There will always be a gap. You reach one goal, your perspective changes, and suddenly you can see ten more things you want. The finish line moves at almost the exact same speed you do. So maybe you need to look backward more often just to get an accurate measurement.
Not because you should live in the past or become satisfied enough to stop moving. I actually think it does the opposite. There’s a different kind of energy that comes from realizing, “Wait, this is working.” You remember the things you used to worry about that somehow worked themselves out. The opportunities you hoped would come that eventually did. The things that once intimidated you that now feel completely normal. And you realize you’ve probably been growing much more than you’ve been giving yourself credit for.
I think that’s what my friend gave me on the roof that night. For a second, he let me see my life from the perspective of the person I used to be. And from that perspective, things looked pretty damn good. I still want more. I still have ideas that keep me up at night, versions of my life that feel far away, and anxiety thinking of how I will get there. I don’t think I ever want to lose that. I just don’t want my excitement for what could be to constantly steal my appreciation for what already is.
So use this as a reminder to look back more often. Allow yourself to be proud of the things you've already acheived. Be greateful for where life is right now, even if you still want more. It's just as important as having drive towards the future.
The healthiest version of ambition is being able to hold both thoughts at the same time:
I’m nowhere near where I want to be.
And I’m exactly where I once wanted to be.