What would happen if you stopped chasing the person you want to become and started living as them today? I know this sounds woo woo, but let me explain...
I spend an incredible amount of time imagining my future self. I picture the version of myself that’s healthier, calmer, more disciplined, more successful. I think it's common that we convince ourselves that one day, after enough progress, enough experience, enough confidence, we’ll finally become that person. But what if we’ve been thinking about it backward? What if that future version of you isn’t created by reaching the destination, but by behaving like them before you ever get there?
This is something I’ve lived by every day since my friend Onijai turned into Socrates for about 10 minutes. We call him “The Truth” for a reason. It started the way a lot of unexpectedly meaningful conversations do, chilling in a hot tub. I don’t know what it is about hot tubs, but they seem to turn everyone into a philosopher. One minute you’re talking about the plans for the night, and the next you’re trying to make sense of life, the galaxy, Bluetooth, and why we’re all here in the first place. You know the kind of conversation I’m talking about. But anyway, somewhere in the middle of that conversation he said something that has stuck with me ever since. "Don’t wait for the results to decide who you are. Decide who you are first, then give yourself evidence that you’re right". Our brains are constantly collecting proof of who we are based on what we repeatedly do. Every decision quietly answers the question, “Who am I?” For example, if I tell myself, “I want to start running,” I’m reinforcing the idea that I’m someone who doesn’t run. But if I start identifying as a runner, my decisions naturally begin to align with that identity. Runners run. Readers read. Builders build. The identity comes first, the evidence follows, and eventually, so do the results.
This isn’t about pretending you’ve accomplished something you haven’t. It’s about refusing to wait for external proof before giving yourself permission to think differently. I don’t know if that’s psychology or if it’s just another story we tell ourselves. Maybe all identity is, in some way, a story. But if that’s true, it makes me wonder how much of our lives are shaped by the stories we repeat compared to the goals we chase. Maybe becoming someone isn’t about waiting until you’ve accumulated enough evidence to deserve the title. Maybe the evidence comes after you’ve quietly started living as if it’s already true.
Why I am writing this is to say point out that the conversation you have with yourself matters more than you realize. The words you choose become the lens through which you make decisions. Someone who says, “I’m trying to be disciplined,” negotiates with themselves every morning. Someone who believes, “I’m a disciplined person,” simply behaves in accordance with that belief.
Maybe the goal isn’t to spend another year visualizing your future self. Maybe it’s to start introducing yourself to the world through your actions today. Speak like the person you admire. Carry yourself like they would. Keep promises to yourself the way they would. Make the difficult decision they would make. Not because you’ve become them already, but because becoming them has always started with acting like them before anyone else could see it.
The gap between who you are and who you want to become is often much smaller than you think. It’s measured less by talent or time and more by the identities you choose to reinforce every single day.